Stand up and greet her if you are meeting her somewhere. In today’s world, chivalry and courtship seem to be the stuff of history books as men complain that a woman should pay for her own dinner if she wants equality. Plainly, the time has come for the awakened tantric male to infuse some much needed dignity back into the modern dating and relationship scene.
Today, there are so many mixed messages about what women want in a relationship, that men can easily get confused. Does she want her independence? Does she want to be courted? Will she be offended if you pick up the whole bill? Yet, if you don’t, you may never get that second date.
Ultimately, the basic fundamentals of courtship have remained the same over time. The idea is to set yourself apart by showing a woman that you are genuinely interested in her. Moreover, you are willing to put in consistent effort, not just during the first few dates, but over the long haul and potentially forever.
This may seem like a ton of work to you but a woman who truly loves you will always exceed or match your efforts. Teamwork makes the dream work. It is far more fulfilling to put effort into one relationship with a woman you truly love, than it is to put effort into always meeting a new woman a few weeks later because you were unable to give a great woman the attention she deserved.
As an awakened gentleman in the modern era, you immediately set yourself apart by how you carry yourself, present yourself, and treat others. Being a gentleman involves holding higher standards for yourself than most of the population. Thus, being a male is a matter of birth, being a man is a matter of age, but being a gentleman is a matter of choice! But what can you do in today’s dating world to attract a mature Goddess of substance who is sick of players?
Stay humble. Yes, evolution and biology inform that the meanest dog in the yard gets the girl. Hence, the brightest coloured male bird finds his mate, the strongest ape passes on his genes to the next generation and the strongest lion leads the pride.
Yet, key to human evolution is evolving itself. Women who make their own money and have their own possessions are not impressed by yours. Clearly, she will want to know you are an ambitious sort who can match her efforts in life, but bragging about who you’ve met or what car you drive or where you live, will send her running for the hills. Remember that if you’re good at something, you will tell everyone but if you’re great, everyone will tell you.
Quit swearing. The fact is there’s a time and place for everything. In the presence of a lady in a dating scenario, clean it up a bit. Once you have become comfortable enough with each other, you can take off the filter, but do censor yourself at first.
Do not start eating. Unless her food has come out, too. Remember, ladies first.
Do not talk badly about others. There is nothing attractive about someone who has to make others look bad in order to make himself look better. If you are complaining about others in your life, your date will begin to wonder what type of negative things you say about her when she’s not around. Also, surrounding yourself with fools just shows poor judgement.
Be punctual. If you are picking her up at 7:00, be there at 7:00. Beyond a matter of being on time, it’s a matter of showing her early on that you stand by what you say, are reliable, and trustworthy.
Stand up and greet her if you are meeting her somewhere. Many men would rather pick a woman up for a date but in the age of online dating, this trust is harder to come by. Thus, some women may insist you meet at your destination. If so, arrive first (never keep her waiting), and stand to greet her when she does arrive.
Maintain eye contact. Don’t break a sweat trying not to blink or stare into her eyes all night long. But spending the evening staring at your shoes or ceiling just highlights the fact that you lack the essential self-confidence to hold an adult conversation with her.
Getting to know someone new in a one-on-one dating situation can be nerve-racking. But when your nerves start getting to you, remember that she’s out with you because she’s also interested in you. Appropriate eye contact is vital, particularly when listening to her. Eye gazing lets her know that you’re paying attention.
Be kind to everyone. In truth, any person who treats a server or bartender badly is not worth knowing. They can get everything right with how they treat you, but if they are rude to people they’re not trying to impress, this is a huge red flag. A gentleman is kind to others not because of who they are but because of who he is.
Keep your cell phone away at all times. Unless you are a brain surgeon on call, your emails can wait.
Pay for dinner. Pay for the entire bill, including the tip. It’s all about the generous gesture, not the money.
Open all of the doors for her. All of them.
Understand who leads and who follows. When being seated at a restaurant, let her go first and follow behind the host or hostess. When walking through a crowded place, you lead and help clear the path for her. For added charm, casually extend your hand behind you for her to hold onto. If she takes it while following you, take this as a good sign.
When ordering, she goes first. The old-fashioned still sometimes prefer to find out what their date would like and then order it for her. To be safe, your best bet is to simply have her order first when the server arrives.
When walking together, you walk closest to the street. The purpose of this lost art is to show your willingness to be splashed instead of a woman should a passing car run through a puddle.
Further, in some countries people would throw trash out of windows, and whoever was walking closest to the building was less likely to be hit. This effortless way shows her that you care and are willing to protect her.
Put your napkin in your lap. It’s basic etiquette!
Do not have an end goal for the date. If your intentions for the evening are to take this woman home at the end of the date, she will likely see right through you the entire time. This is how to ensure that you never get a second date with her.
Understand that if you are out with the right woman, there is no goal or final objective. Time with her is the goal. Sharing an evening with her is the objective. Your time together is the entire point, therefore there is no end to work towards,. After all, if you do things right, you will soon be seeing her again soon!
Always gauge her comfort level and act accordingly. One of the most difficult but valuable things a man can do is learn how to read women. Picking up on non-verbal cues, body language, and subtle facial expressions can change the entire course of your evening. It will tell you if you should or shouldn’t go for the kiss, should or shouldn’t suggest you go somewhere else after dinner, should or shouldn’t invite her back to your place for a drink.
Non-verbal communication is a crucial piece of the puzzle. You will boost your chances of dating success with a woman if you can see she is tired or feeling unwell and go home, than if you were to just hang around and overstay your welcome.
Patience is a key tool in a tantric male’s arsenal. Never rush her, make her feel pressured or force yourself on her in any way. Sadly, these simple guidelines are often overlooked in today’s society. Happily, a gentleman can easily separate himself from the male crowd by putting in a bit more effort. Your valiant efforts will be well appreciated, men; today’s frustrated women are definitely searching for an awakened man of quality like you.
I am Dakini Devi Bliss, a Certified Tantric Teacher Sacred Intimate, Blissful Bodyworker and Certified Bondassage® practitioner. A lifelong spiritual seeker, I have been formally trained in energetic aura manipulation, hypnosis, Kundalini awakening, Tantric healing, massage therapy, Reiki and Dark Tantra. In my multi-disciplined approach, I manipulate sexual energy for the highest good. With a background in tantra, kundalini yoga, meditation, qi gong, energy work, sexual psychology and relationship coaching, I am also a certified Bondassage® and Elysium practitioner. I employ a unique, rich healing blend for each client. My tantra training initiation was a lengthy process extending over several years, including studies in India, to gain the requisite experience to instruct others. My spiritually-based practice is ideal for those who wish to embrace a higher, enlightened state and use tantra to create kundalini awakening and a deeper connection to their partner(s). I possess a nurturing, joyful nature with a peaceful warrior mindset.