Open Relationships’ Defined

Big Love, a popular US television drama that aired on  HBO between March 2006 and March 2011, depicted a fictional  fundamentalist Mormon family in  Utah that practices  polygamy.

 

What constitutes an open relationship people often ask.

Some equate an open relationship with cheating but nothing is further from the truth.

Being in an open relationship does not suit everyone.

A tremendous amount of security and trust is required from all parties involved.

An open relationship is essentially defined as  consensual non-monogamy.  That means if your partner is unaware you are having sex with others, it’s still called cheating.

Different variations of open relationship exist…polyamory, swinging, 3-somes, group sex, polygamy, polyandry, poly fidelity and non-monogamy.

They all have their own nuances and set of rules.

 
 

There is an inherent large grey area since every couple has a unique take on the term ‘open relationship’.

Polyamory The word literally means multiple loves. Those who self-identify as polyamorous have a main partner (a primary), while still being free to date and have other partners.

Poly-people often focus on relationships rather than having multiple sex partners.


Swingers Swingers often have no-strings-attached sex. They aren’t looking to date or add people to their current relationship.

Within swinger communities, there are varying levels of “freedom”; There are  two main categories: hard swap and soft swap. To soft swap, a couple may add a third person or engage another couple but stop at penis-in-vagina (PIV) sex. By contact, hard swap typically include such penetration. However, in hard swap couples can sometimes disallow kissing between their partner and another.


3-somes/group sex These groupings are mostly sexual, which isn’t to suggest that people who engage in threesomes, foursomes are opposed to relationships. Many couples in committed, monogamous relationships will sometimes have a one-time threesome to spice things up, but it is far from a habit.

Many subcategories exist with polygamy, the marriage of two or more:

Polygyny A marriage involving one male and two or more females (no pairing between the wives). This most common form of polygamy is illegal in the United States and Canada, except in the provinces of Saskatchewan and British Columbia.

Polyandry…Marriage between one woman and two or more men. This is a rare practice and the men are usually brothers or of the same family. Prohibited by most religious denominations, polyandry is not legally recognized in most countries, even in those that allow polygyny.

Poly-fidelity Closest to a “group marriage” in which a marital-like arrangement is made between two or more consenting peoples. All partners live together and share finances and household responsibilities. Depending on their sexual orientation, all are sexual partners.

Many people by their very nature who do not conform to the role of monogamy. These people say that they have so much love to give that they want to share it with others. They choose not  to lay claim to one partner nor do they that feel they belong to any one person.

Those in their lives fill a specific role and they unselfishly do the same for others.

Not everyone need adopt an open relationship, but it is wise to at least acknowledge the validity in it for some individuals and couples. Sometimes non-monogamy is a chosen path to enhance an already strong relationship.


Even if you have no intentions on acting on anything, discuss these types of relationships with  your partner.   How might you both flex the boundaries of your own relationship? Keep the communication lines open and honest.  Do not fear any related emotions that may arise from open dialogue.

When considering the topic of open relationships, self-study is vital.

Looking within helps you find out who you are.

Can you identify your purpose,  strengths and weaknesses.

You must look within to ground and center and be in your power.   Now look outside yourself, not for satisfaction or relief, nor for being placated or manipulated.

Yes, you can be open for a teacher and the teacher comes.   You can find signs of validation for your own growth, feelings and connections outside as you are open to receiving and looking around.

Going outside yourself mans you can be present for others.

Many today are floundering, hurting, crying and falling apart.   Many have lost their faith in Self, the system and mankind.

What does that have to do with you and open relationships?

 

We are all one, so having others on board the light  train of freedom is important.   Clearly, you cannot fix people but you can influence them as a compassionate helper and true friend.   Just be you, speak your truth and stand in your power.

Then, another may say,”Maybe I will risk stepping over the line and choosing this alternative, more open way of life.”

 

Far from evangelism, this is being the way and showing the way and being open to another who wants a  brighter, lighter and more loving life.

There isn’t only one way, but when someone is distraught, lonely and lashing out at all around them, they surely would prefer a better way.

Sometimes people need to to ‘hit bottom’ before they seek out a new understanding of how to be.

However, just reaching down to pull up a struggling brother or sister can often work instead.

Can we be ever be too lusty, loving or lively?

No, it is all in where we stand, how we stand, and what we stand for.

Are you standing strong, centered and full of light?

If so, manifest it by helping your brother or sister.

Let them feel your strength and resolve and want to be more like you.   This helps the human whole.

If you are not feeling strong or centred, stop, meditate and connect to your inner source of power and light.

Bring it in and feel it.

Be vigilant in your seeking this new way.

There are many who need you;  they are merely awaiting their teacher.

I am  Dakini Devi Bliss,  a Certified Tantric Practitioner, Educator and  Blissful Bodyworker. A gifted, lifelong spiritual seeker, I have been  formally trained in energetic aura manipulation, Kundalini awakening, Tantric healing,  massage therapy and Reiki. In my multiple-disciplined approach,  I manipulate sexual energy for the highest good. With a background in tantra, kundalini yoga, meditation, qi gong, energy work, sexual psychology and relationship coaching, I employ a uniquely rich healing blend for each client. My tantra training initiation was a lengthy process extending over several years, including studies in India, to gain the experience needed to teach others.  My spiritually-based professional practice is ideal for those wish to open up to a higher, enlightened state. My work is geared for those interested in using tantra to create kundalini awakening and a deeper connection to their partner(s). I possess a nurturing, joyful nature with a peaceful warrior mindset.

 

To book a session, please call me at  613 878-8179.