Tantric Sexercises The Ultimate Workout for HIm and Her

 

Western sex practices yield an average of about 10 minutes of bliss, according to a recent study.

Yet, in India and the Far East, Tantric sex is practiced as a form of spirituality, enveloping its practitioners in hours-long ecstasy.

Why not spend a few delicious hours riding the wave, instead of 10 minutes?

Yet, tantra is far more than just drawing out the coitus process.

Studies show couples struggle to reconcile their high sexual expectations with an inability to express their sexual needs.

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The ABC’s of Sex Coaching

When I say that I work as a sex coach, some find it a bit confusing.

Often I hear, “So you must be a sex worker?” Not exactly. “So, what is it then that you do?”

The recent film, “The Sessions” features Helen Hunt and John Hawkes as a sex surrogate and her disabled client.

Sex coaches act as educators because most North Americans have received a zero to sub-standard sex education. People need to learn the vital sexual information that nobody ever taught them from a compassionate professional who understands sex and will not pontificate on a client’s sexual practices. That job is for a priest, not a sex coach!
Sex coaching differs from therapy as it does not focus as much on healing past wounds as much as it does about creating your life in the present.
 

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Ottawa Divine Tantric Touch Massage Services 613 878-8179

Ottawa’s Divine Tantric Touch Massage is a highly sought after sensual experience appreciated by a growing host of exultant clients.  Mere words fail to describe the depth and pleasure of  this ecstatic, erotic experience.  Just imagine profound relaxation amplified and spiced up by a variety of delicious erotic elements!   Erotic massage is a door to new sensual dimensions, to ever higher and deeper levels of epicurean indulgence.
Tantra massage gained its popularity for its ability to deeply relax the body, releasing all the accumulated stress and strain of modern life, unblocking the body’s energy flow and gently calming  the mind. Thus, this sexually rewarding massage technique also possesses tremendous healing, restorative and rejuvenating benefits.
 

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Tantric Self-Care for Men

“Tantrics go naked, meditate on death next to corpses or in graveyards, or live hidden in the normality of the everyday world, but all the time they use the senses to transcend the senses. Tantra’s contemplative practices are intended to raise a vital energy in the etheric body that is an envelope around the physical body.”~William Irwin Thompson

The Cosmos is like the sky…clouds come and go, but the sky remains. The cosmos is unchanging. It takes countless forms. To feel disturbed about the numerous clouds in the sky today is nonsensical because whatever is in the sky will change. That’s the nature of the sky. One day it’s clear, the next day it’s cloudy. One day it rains, the next day it snows, the next day the brilliant sun emerges to warm our wounded spirits.

When your mood becomes heavy and you feel like shutting down, it’s time to shake things up and start moving your body.

At times, you may experience wonderful changes in your life, as you move into a new home, embrace a career change, marry your beloved, take on a closer relationship with your adult children, give birth to a new business venture, and take positive steps towards healing your body. In the midst of all this, your spirit has been soaring most of the time. However, there are times when even a man who has been practicing tantra can feel bitter or angry, and is easily triggered by those around him, especially by his closest family and friends.

These negative feelings come from old limiting patterns of thoughts and behaviour that you are probably ready to release; however, the letting go proces is painful at times and you can get stuck.  When this happens, dancing may be the best remedy. Yes, dancing! Put on some of your favourite instrumental music and let your powerful male body move to the groove and express all those pent-up feelings. Afterwards, pamper yourself with a hot bubble bath, followed by some stretching, resting, and  quiet meditation.  Then, go and curl up on the couch with that fantastic book you bought last month but have been too busy to read.

This wonderful self-nurturing will refresh and revitalize your body, mind and spirit, so you are ready to move back into your life again.  Your male and female energies are fully integrated, so you can better connect to others, enjoy your life, and surmount the daily grind.

Tantra Bliss Defined…a phenomenal formula!

The Tantra Bliss Formula was developed by Bodhi Avinasha, Founder of Tantrika International and author of  Jewel in the Lotus &  The Ipsalu Formula. Bodhi has been teaching Tantric Yoga throughout the world since 1986.

A 5-step Daily Practice, the Tantra Bliss Formula stimulates your creativity, while helping you unite body, mind and spirit. By bringing you to a higher state of consciousness, it helps you transcend illusion and see what is truly real. It takes you from stillness and numbness to a state of Bliss.

1. Activate Your Body’s Energy: To help alleviate the numbness and begin your journey to a state of bliss, the energy of the body must be awakened. Ways of accomplishing this include dancing or doing the Shakti Shake.

2.  Still Your Mind: The next step toward a state of bliss is to suspend your thoughts (stop thinking). Meditation, mantras and breathing exercises help you clear your mind of thoughts of the mundane, illusory world.

3.  Arouse Your Sexual Energy: This unblocks the circulation of kundalini energy, helping you achieve a higher state of consciousness.
4.  Transmute Your Passion: This process involves converting the raw power of sexual energy into spiritual energy. This helps draw the kundalini energy from the lower chakras to the higher ones.
5.  Enjoy Your Bliss: Once you achieve a state of bliss, bask in it for a while! Dance around in the warm sunlight or revel in feeling cool raindrops on your face.

 

Create the Ideal Mood for Tantric Couples Massage

Clearly, a tantric massage is meant to be relaxing, washing away all tension, so it’s vital to establish the right mood.

Ideally, one dims the lights to create a soothing mood.

Ambient Music or nature sounds add a deeply relaxing atmosphere to enhance the whole experience.

Soothing scents can add a beautiful  accent to relaxation.
Aromatherapy has proven benefits, so light a scented candle or burn some incense.
Different aromas bring on different physical and mental reactions …peppermint, citrus and cinnamon produce a more energetic response in the body, while patchouli, bergamot, lavender and ylang-ylang are more relaxing.
Just be sure that competing scents are not being used!
Temperature is also important as the skin is exposed most of the time during a massage.

A warmer than normal temperature helps to avoid chills and relax muscles.
Along these same lines, a warm shower or bath before the massage can make one’s massage much more effective by loosening muscles and ligaments.

Use a high-quality organic massage oil.  The Body Shoppe carries a number of excellent massage oil products for home use.

Sensational Tantric Touch Massage for Couples

Mental preparation is also key…

 

If possible, try to sit quietly in your Sacred Space and meditate for a bit before the massage session starts.

Clearing the mind helps you focus on breath and sensation, which will intensify the erotic experience.

This is akin to taking a warm shower by shedding your physical tension.

Set an intention for your  session and discuss any specific techniques you would like to use.

For a successful outcome, both partners  must feel comfortable with each other, and trust in the other’s sincere desire to connect.

A brief discussion before the session is crucial, as well as ongoing, open, honest communication during the session itself.

Tantric Massage is a fabulous gift to give your beloved’s body, mind and spirit.

In addition to the multiple physical benefits, tantric massage can provide a burst of creative energy, stimulating your intellect, deepening your intimacy with your beloved while enhancing your own sensuality.


 

Preparing Yourself for a Tantra Session

Spiritual, mental and physical preparation is a key component of Tantra.

The experience is greatly enhanced if you enter the session with an open heart, conscious awareness and an available body. Whether consciously or unconsciously, the preparation begins before your scheduled appointment. You should establish a clear intention for the upcoming Tantric session. Remember that the path of Tantra is spiritual as well as sensual. Tantra explores our sexuality and sensuality as a conscious meditation. The act of setting your intention creates an opening for the session to unfold naturally and in harmony with the physical, erotic and cosmic energies contained within you. You will want to prepare your mind, body and spirit for the experience. For a first-time receiver, the act of opening all parts of your body – including the most sacred areas – to exploration and stimulation is a life-altering experience.

For your Tantric Session, remember the following:

  • This is a date with yourself.
  • Make space and time for yourself.
  • You don’t have to please anyone but yourself.
  • Don’t have any preoccupation, appointments close to the session.
  • After the session, you may want to relax and may be even sleep.
  • Please wear lightly perfumed sprays, colognes, or lotions if you wish.
  • No cell phones, no distractions, have your mind free completely of any worries.
  • Move with your breath, so sensations and excitement can circulate into the whole body.

NOTE: When you are at the point of experiencing Full Body Orgasm (not ejaculation) – Visualize your desires, what you want to change in your life and what you truly want, such as

  • achieving more harmony
  • enjoying more love and deeper intimacy
  • becoming a multi-orgasmic woman or man
  • Having greater overall energy
  • Tapping into your Sensual/Spiritual Nature

Then, when you release at that orgasmic moment, your visualizations imprint onto your subconscious and into the universe and it returns back into your reality (Law of Attraction).

Relax and be open!

Simply imagine that you are receiving an infinite love from the universe.

When you are nearing Full Body Orgasm (energetic not ejaculation) always  breathe deeply. If anything is blocking your mind, it will go away.

You are in safe, loving, expert hands, so just keep breathing and any built up pressure or discomfort build up will go away.

An intensely pleasurable experience, it is beautiful, erotic and sensuous…all at once.

Close your eyes and feel the inner bliss transporting into an  unimaginable world of ecstasy.

To really understand tantra, you need to be turning yourself on. Tantra is something you get for your own self-satisfaction to add to your life, like yoga, meditation or working out.  You learn to get in touch with your inner sexuality. You can enjoy exploring some erogenous zones, that you never examined before or maybe were too shy to even think about it.

When practicing G-spot, Prostate healing or Body Energetic Touch, breathe deeply.   Let your partner know that you are enjoying the sensations running through your body.

Push your muscles, as in the PC MUSCLE exercises which I teach.

Let go of the flow,  release your muscles, clear your mind and enjoy the pleasures of your G-spot or Prostate Healing or Body Energetic Touch.

If you feel discomfort, hold on for a few minutes, after that it is pure ecstasy.

Practice, practice tantra once a week in your life or as often your lifestyle permits. It will change your life; you will feel light, ecstatic and happy. You will see life anew through fresh, loving eyes.


 

 

Tantra & Sexual Education…First Sexual Encounters Affect Body Image

When a guy loses his virginity, he feels like a stud...not so for girls. A recent study examined 100 college students over a 4-year period who were virgins at the start of college, and how their perspective of their own bodies changed after sex.

 

Sex is tricky!   You are at your most intimate in that moment. Guys report feeling “hotter” because sex is seen as a rite of passage into masculinity.   So, they feel like they’ve finally done it…now they are men!   On the other hand, girls may feel uneasy, guilty and even ‘slutty’. This may even unleash self-esteem and body image issues that have been bubbling below the surface for these insecure, young women.

Other Questions Arise…

Had these adolescents been sexually active at all?

What happens if your first sexual encounter is with a same sex partner?

What were the circumstances of the event?

How does someone respond if they lose their virginity LATER in life?

It might be interesting to study the physiological impact sex has over the course of all four years of college, the “then” and “now” of sex and body perspective.

When it comes to actually getting busy, women  tend to critically evaluate their bodies in terms of the worshipped feminine ideal.   This is called sexual spectatoring, i.e. seeing yourself from the outside rather than focusing on and enjoying the sex you are having in the present moment.

Indeed, society is constantly   bombarded with what media and entertainment deem as “hot or not” and now women are behind the camera comparing and scrutinizing their own bodies. Negative outcomes exist for boys too; they begin to get riskier and riskier the more sex they have. This could lead to multiple sexual partners and potential STDs.

One way to alleviate such negative outcomes is to develop a sex education class that addresses the nitty-gritty of these issues. Close to 20% of the population struggles with body dysmorphic disorder, so dealing with it earlier is a good idea.

As a woman ages, her body image get better, but sadly a man’s get worse. Tantra is something that makes everyone feel good about themselves and their sex lives.   After all,Tantric sex is good for you on all levels…body, mind and spirit.

Tantra Coaching Sessions for Individuals…The practice of Tantra is not strictly for those in a relationship, and the words ‘single’ and ‘happy’ are not mutually exclusive. The ancient Tantrikas spent years in solo preparation to prepare for the meeting with their beloved and the Divine.

There is much that you can learn and open to on your own. Indeed, some things require a time of solitude to blossom and mature, and you can always open to the Divine, which is certainly not a blessing reserved for those  in a relationship.

Individual sessions are useful in a variety of ways: Receiving information, learning practices, becoming more at home in your body, finding support to sort through emotions with regard to a recently ended relationship, or learning how to attract a well matched partner.

Individual sessions are also beneficial to persons who are already in a committed relationship but are unable to bring their partner. They can take many useful exercises and insights home with them to their loved one.

What happens in an individual session depends entirely on what an individual needs to progress toward sexual and emotional fulfilment and Divine love. Although I may offer experiential exercises and meditations during these sessions, my approach in working with individuals is not always hands on.  The unique needs of my client will always dictate the approach required.

For more information on Tantric Sex Education Classes, call Devi at 613 878-8179.

 

 

HOW TO DO TANTRIC YONI MASSAGE

Massaging the vagina called  the Yoni (Sanskrit  word meaning Sacred Space or Sacred Temple) is an ancient Tantra sex ritual.  The Yoni is traditionally seen from a perspective of love and respect.

The Yoni Massage creates a safe space for the woman to relax and enter a state of high arousal and experience much pleasure from her Yoni. This massage is also a way to effectively treat a woman for sexual blocks, traumas or fear of sex. Her partner (the giver) enjoys the satisfaction of being of service and witnessing a different area of Tantra sex. The Yoni Massage is also a form of safer sex, as well as an excellent way to build trust and intimacy.

 

The aim of the Yoni massage is not orgasm nor to bring on a climax. Orgasm is often a pleasant and welcome side effect of the entire ritual. The aim is simply to pleasure and massage the Yoni/vagina. From this perspective, both receiver and giver can relax, and not worry about achieving something. When orgasm does occur, it’s usually more expanded, more intense and more satisfying. Orgasm may or may not happen, depending on what you learn by experience.

In this massage, the giver has nothing to gain; he  just allows the receiver to enjoy the massage and to relax into herself afterwards. Of course, other sexual activity may follow but it would be entirely at the the receiver’s discretion. This perspective will not only build greater intimacy and trust, it will also broaden your own sexual horizons.

STARTING THE PROCESSTake a shower together as it relaxes both the receiver and giver. A quiet space with pleasing music, red candles and fluffy pillows is desirable to make you both relax and feel safe. Allow yourself enough time and never, never rush the process. You can really set the right tone with soft silk mattresses, white curtains, and a dim red light!

Go to the bathroom before the massage. When both bowels and bladder are empty, you can avoid unwelcome bathroom interruptions.  Clean the genitals carefully with a soft soap. And the giver must have his finger nails properly trimmed.

Cuddle with your partner by hugging, holding, and eye gazing to transport you both to a safe place of deep relaxation.



RITUALHave the receiver lie on her back with pillows under her head so she can look down at her genitals and up at her partner (giver). Place a pillow, under her hips. Her legs are to be spread apart with the knees slightly bent (pillows or cushions under the knees will also help) and her genitals clearly exposed for the massage.

The giver sits cross-legged between the receivers’ legs. The giver may wish to sit on a pillow or cushion. This position allows full access to the Yoni and other parts of the body.

Before making contact with her body, begin with deep, relaxed breathing. Both giver and receiver should keep breathing deeply, slowly and focus on mutual relaxation during the entire process. The giver will gently remind the receiver to start breathing again if the receiver stops or takes shallower breaths. Deep breathing, not hyperventilating, is critical here. Do not try to control your breath or take extra long pauses between breaths.

Gently massage the legs, abdomen, thighs, and breasts, to allow the receiver to relax and the giver to prepare for touching the Yoni.

Pour a small quantity of  organic massage oil or lubricant on the mound of the Yoni. Pour just enough, so that it drips down the outer lips and covers the outside of the Yoni. Generally, you will find that oils are always the best lubricants.

Begin gently massaging the mound and outer lips of the Yoni. Spend some time here ; do not rush!  Relax and enjoy giving the massage. Gently squeeze the outer lip between the thumb and index finger, and slide up and down the entire length of each lip. Do the same thing to the inner lips of the Yoni/vagina. Take your time.

The receiver can massage her own breasts or may just relax and continue breathing deeply. The giver and receiver should look into each other’s eyes as much as possible. The receiver can tell the giver if the pressure, speed, and  depth need to be increased or decreased. Limit your speaking and focus on the profoundly pleasurable sensations. Too much talking tends to get one out of their feelings and diminishes the sensual effects.

Gently stroke the clitoris with clockwise and counter-clockwise circles. Gently squeeze it between thumb and index fingers. Do this as a massage and not to get the receiver off. The receiver will become very aroused but continue to encourage her to just relax and breathe.

Slowly and with great care, insert the middle finger of your right hand into the Yoni.   In rituals and Tantra sex,  the  right hand is specifically used for polarity. Very gently explore and massage the inside of the Yoni/vagina with this finger. Take your time, be gentle, and feel up/down and sideways. Vary the depth, speed and pressure. Remember, this massage is all about nurturing and relaxing the Yoni.

With your palm facing up, and the middle finger inside the Yoni, move the middle finger in a “come hither” gesture or crook back towards the palm. You will contact a spongy area of tissue just under the pubic bone, behind the clitoris. This is the Sacred spot as says Tantra Sex. Your partner may feel the need to urinate or it may feel painful or pleasurable. Again vary the pressure, speed and pattern of the movement. You can move side to side, back and forth, or in circles with your middle finger You can also insert the finger that’s between your middle finger and pinky. Check with your partner first before inserting two fingers. Most women will enjoy the increased stimulation from two fingers. Take your time and be very gentle. Use the thumb of the right hand to stimulate the clitoris as well.

Optional: First, you must ask permission from your partner to insert one lubricated finger gently into her anus. Use the finger which you are not going to insert into her Yoni. Again be very gentle. It’s best to use the little finger in her anus.

Use your left hand to massage the breasts, abdomen, or clitoris,   If you massage the clitoris, it’s best to use your thumb in an up/down motion, with the rest of your hand resting on and massaging the mound. The dual stimulation of right and left hands will provide much pleasure for the receiver. Do not use your left hand to touch your own genitals because it takes focus off the receiver. Remember, this massage is for her pleasure and the benefit comes from not only the physical stimulation but the intent as well.

Continue massaging, alternating different speeds, pressures and motions. Keep breathing and looking into each other’s eyes. Powerful emotions may surface for the receiver and she may even start crying. Just keep deep breathing and be gentle. Many women have suffered sexual abuse and need sexual healing to move forward into happy, healthy relationships. A giving, loving, patient partner is of great value to her.

If she has an orgasm, keep her deep breathing, and continue massaging. More orgasms may occur each gaining in intensity. In Tantra, this is known as “Riding the Wave.” Many women can learn how to be multi-orgasmic with Yoni Massage and a skilled, patient, loving partner.

Keep massaging until she tells you to stop. Then, slowly, gently, and with great respect, remove your hands. Allow her to just lay there and enjoy the afterglow of the Yoni massage. Cuddling or holding is very soothing as well. As you gradually master Yoni Massage, you will discover that  your own sex life has become greatly enriched.  As a bonus, you will learn a great deal about female sexuality.

Just Practice,  Have Fun, and Follow your Bliss!

 

The Female Deer Exercise

 LOVEMAKING BETWEEN A MAN & WOMAN, ENTERED INTO WITH AWARENESS PROMOTES SEXUAL & SPIRITUAL ECSTASY.

The Female Deer Exercise is a renowned women’s exercise from Taoist Chi Kung. It cultivates sexual energy, improves physical vitality and mental alertness, improves sexual enjoyment, and reduces or eliminates many common women’s ailments. It is simple to perform, takes only a few minutes, and is very pleasurable.

There are two steps to the exercise: 1) a breast massage and 2) a pelvic contraction called “holding firm,” which is similar to a kegel exercise.
The Female Deer Exercise
Sit naked on a flat surface with your legs stretched out before you. Bend one leg and place the heel at the entrance of your vagina so that it presses firmly against your clitoris. If this is not comfortable, then place a hard ball there instead. The pressure should be consistently firm.

Now bring your other leg close to your body. Raise the foot of this leg and rest it on the calf of the leg already in position. Insert the toes of the first bent leg between the calf and thigh of the second bent leg. If this is too difficult, place the second leg in front of you. Sit as erect as you can without straining. You can use a small pillow under the buttocks to sit more comfortably.

1) The Breast Massage
Rub your hands together quickly in order to create as much heat as possible. Then place them over the breasts. Rub inwards with your hands and continue around your breasts in a circular motion. The hands travel together up the inside of the breasts toward the face, then outwards, downwards, inwards, and upwards again. Lightly chafe the skin in circular motions with the nipples at the center of the circle. Do not hold the breasts and move them. Skim the surface of the skin. Pause occasionally and rub your hands together to re-warm them.

Do a minimum of 36 circles and a maximum of 360 circles. A pleasant warm feeling may be experienced at the breasts and genitals. This is a very good sign. It shows that you are accumulating sexual energy.

The breast massage stage of the Female Deer Exercise stimulates the nerves of the nipples and breasts. This increases circulation, releases the hormones oxytocin and DHEA, , and increases neural development and blood and lymphatic circulation. It can increase both fullness and buoyancy of the bust by strengthening the suspensory ligaments and muscles, while increasing blood and lymphatic movement in the breasts.

2) Holding Firm
First, rest your hands in your lap. Form your hands into fists by encircling your thumbs in the other fingers. This activates a number of important acupressure points. Next, tighten the muscles of the vagina as though contracting it. Keep breathing in a deep, relaxed manner while holding the contraction as long as you comfortably can, and then relax.

Contract and relax these muscles as many times as you can without strain. The correct feeling is that you are trying to suck air up into your vaginal and anal openings. After about a month, the muscle contractions will be easy to maintain.

You may experience a pleasant feeling that flows from the genitals to the top of the head. This indicates that the sexual energy accumulated through this method is raising along the spine, feeding the entire glandular endocrine systems.

The vagina greatly benefits from the Female Deer Exercise. It becomes tighter, meatier, and more flexible. The exercise increases circulation in the sexual organs and energizes the pubic area.

Together, the two phases of the Female Deer Exercise spread sexual pleasure and energy throughout the body, increasing the potential for clitoral, vaginal, and whole body orgasm. It is also excellent for enhancing overall health and vitality.

When personal Tantra instruction is either inconvenient or too expensive, Al Link and Pala Copeland’s Sexual Mastery Course and Kerry and Diane Riley’s Ultimate Home Tantra Course are two excellent self-teaching courses. I highly recommend either of these courses for those who can’t find a local Tantra teacher, attend a Tantra workshop, or just want to explore Tantra in the privacy of their own home.