The aim of the Yoni massage is not orgasm nor to bring on a climax. Orgasm is often a pleasant and welcome side effect of the entire ritual. The aim is simply to pleasure and massage the Yoni/vagina. From this perspective, both receiver and giver can relax, and not worry about achieving something. When orgasm does occur, it’s usually more expanded, more intense and more satisfying. Orgasm may or may not happen, depending on what you learn by experience.
In this massage, the giver has nothing to gain; he just allows the receiver to enjoy the massage and to relax into herself afterwards. Of course, other sexual activity may follow but it would be entirely at the the receiver’s discretion. This perspective will not only build greater intimacy and trust, it will also broaden your own sexual horizons.
STARTING THE PROCESS…Take a shower together as it relaxes both the receiver and giver. A quiet space with pleasing music, red candles and fluffy pillows is desirable to make you both relax and feel safe. Allow yourself enough time and never, never rush the process. You can really set the right tone with soft silk mattresses, white curtains, and a dim red light!
Go to the bathroom before the massage. When both bowels and bladder are empty, you can avoid unwelcome bathroom interruptions. Clean the genitals carefully with a soft soap. And the giver must have his finger nails properly trimmed.
Cuddle with your partner by hugging, holding, and eye gazing to transport you both to a safe place of deep relaxation.
RITUAL…Have the receiver lie on her back with pillows under her head so she can look down at her genitals and up at her partner (giver). Place a pillow, under her hips. Her legs are to be spread apart with the knees slightly bent (pillows or cushions under the knees will also help) and her genitals clearly exposed for the massage.
The giver sits cross-legged between the receivers’ legs. The giver may wish to sit on a pillow or cushion. This position allows full access to the Yoni and other parts of the body.
Before making contact with her body, begin with deep, relaxed breathing. Both giver and receiver should keep breathing deeply, slowly and focus on mutual relaxation during the entire process. The giver will gently remind the receiver to start breathing again if the receiver stops or takes shallower breaths. Deep breathing, not hyperventilating, is critical here. Do not try to control your breath or take extra long pauses between breaths.
Gently massage the legs, abdomen, thighs, and breasts, to allow the receiver to relax and the giver to prepare for touching the Yoni.
Pour a small quantity of organic massage oil or lubricant on the mound of the Yoni. Pour just enough, so that it drips down the outer lips and covers the outside of the Yoni. Generally, you will find that oils are always the best lubricants.
Begin gently massaging the mound and outer lips of the Yoni. Spend some time here ; do not rush! Relax and enjoy giving the massage. Gently squeeze the outer lip between the thumb and index finger, and slide up and down the entire length of each lip. Do the same thing to the inner lips of the Yoni/vagina. Take your time.
The receiver can massage her own breasts or may just relax and continue breathing deeply. The giver and receiver should look into each other’s eyes as much as possible. The receiver can tell the giver if the pressure, speed, and depth need to be increased or decreased. Limit your speaking and focus on the profoundly pleasurable sensations. Too much talking tends to get one out of their feelings and diminishes the sensual effects.
Gently stroke the clitoris with clockwise and counter-clockwise circles. Gently squeeze it between thumb and index fingers. Do this as a massage and not to get the receiver off. The receiver will become very aroused but continue to encourage her to just relax and breathe.
Slowly and with great care, insert the middle finger of your right hand into the Yoni. In rituals and Tantra sex, the right hand is specifically used for polarity. Very gently explore and massage the inside of the Yoni/vagina with this finger. Take your time, be gentle, and feel up/down and sideways. Vary the depth, speed and pressure. Remember, this massage is all about nurturing and relaxing the Yoni.
With your palm facing up, and the middle finger inside the Yoni, move the middle finger in a “come hither” gesture or crook back towards the palm. You will contact a spongy area of tissue just under the pubic bone, behind the clitoris. This is the Sacred spot as says Tantra Sex. Your partner may feel the need to urinate or it may feel painful or pleasurable. Again vary the pressure, speed and pattern of the movement. You can move side to side, back and forth, or in circles with your middle finger You can also insert the finger that’s between your middle finger and pinky. Check with your partner first before inserting two fingers. Most women will enjoy the increased stimulation from two fingers. Take your time and be very gentle. Use the thumb of the right hand to stimulate the clitoris as well.
Optional: First, you must ask permission from your partner to insert one lubricated finger gently into her anus. Use the finger which you are not going to insert into her Yoni. Again be very gentle. It’s best to use the little finger in her anus.
Use your left hand to massage the breasts, abdomen, or clitoris, If you massage the clitoris, it’s best to use your thumb in an up/down motion, with the rest of your hand resting on and massaging the mound. The dual stimulation of right and left hands will provide much pleasure for the receiver. Do not use your left hand to touch your own genitals because it takes focus off the receiver. Remember, this massage is for her pleasure and the benefit comes from not only the physical stimulation but the intent as well.
Continue massaging, alternating different speeds, pressures and motions. Keep breathing and looking into each other’s eyes. Powerful emotions may surface for the receiver and she may even start crying. Just keep deep breathing and be gentle. Many women have suffered sexual abuse and need sexual healing to move forward into happy, healthy relationships. A giving, loving, patient partner is of great value to her.
If she has an orgasm, keep her deep breathing, and continue massaging. More orgasms may occur each gaining in intensity. In Tantra, this is known as “Riding the Wave.” Many women can learn how to be multi-orgasmic with Yoni Massage and a skilled, patient, loving partner.
Keep massaging until she tells you to stop. Then, slowly, gently, and with great respect, remove your hands. Allow her to just lay there and enjoy the afterglow of the Yoni massage. Cuddling or holding is very soothing as well. As you gradually master Yoni Massage, you will discover that your own sex life has become greatly enriched. As a bonus, you will learn a great deal about female sexuality.
Just Practice, Have Fun, and Follow your Bliss!