A woman trained in pompoir is called a Kabbazah in the Middle East. The word Kabbazah translates to â€œone who holds.” Men say pompoir feels like having a soft, wet, velvet-gloved hand wrapped around their lingam, firmly gripping it and stroking them into the most delicious sexual nirvana imaginable. The PC Muscle Routine…In order to practice pompoir, your PC and pelvic floor muscles must be trained to improve strength and performance. Locate the PC muscles by inserting a finger into your yoni and trying to squeeze your finger. Make sure not to tense your thighs, buttocks, or anal muscles. Then try these exercises:
1. Short squeeze. Contract the PC muscles 10 times…one squeeze/second. Inhale gently as you contract and exhale when you release. Start with two sets of 10. Gradually build up to two sets of 50 a day.
2. Long squeeze. Hold the muscle contraction for a count of three. Relax between contractions. Work up to holding for 10 seconds and relaxing for 10 seconds. Start with two sets of 10 each and gradually build up to two sets of 50.
3. Pull-in, push-out. Pull up the entire pelvic floor as though trying to suck water into the yoni, and then push out or bear down as if trying to push the water out. This exercise uses the abdominal muscles as well as the PC muscles. Do this five times in a row. Build up to 10 sets.
4. The elevator. Imagine you have an elevator in your pelvic region and you want to raise it up floor by floor. Starting at the ground floor, go up to the first floor, then up the second floor, and last, to the third floor. Then gradually allow the â€œelevatorâ€ to go back down, stopping at each floor. Once you get to the ground floor, completely relax the muscles you’ve just exercised. Start with one set of 10 repetitions and build up to five sets of 10.
Break up your exercises and do them in two or more sessions daily (highly recommended) and still get the same benefits as long as you complete the total number of repetitions. Vary your position from standing, to sitting, to kneeling, to sitting in order to completely exercise the pelvic floor muscles.
As you perfect these exercises and strengthen the muscles, you’ll begin to notice that you can isolate groups of muscles in your pelvic floor. This enables you to isolate your clitoris, for instance, and stimulate yourself at any time.Milking the Lingam
1. The best positions for pompoir are women on top and sitting positions, such as Yab-Yum.
2. Begin by having him lie down. He should relax and remain passive, letting you do the work.
3. Stimulate him until he is erect. Once he is erect, insert his lingam into your yoni.
4. He is NOT to thrust or move his lingam at all. He should remain as still as he can.
5. Once his lingam is inserted and you’re in position, either straddling or sitting in his lap, try to not move your pelvis.Your only movements should come from contracting your yoni using pompoir skills.
6. You may kiss and caress each other freely, but no thrusting or rocking.
7. Flex and contract your PC muscles in various patterns until you feel his lingam throbbing. (Kegel exercises make the yoni more sensitive.) This should occur after 10 to 15 minutes and indicates his intense arousal.
8. Get the feel of his throbbing lingam and time your squeezing and releasing with his throbbing. Squeeze and release quickly as he nears ejaculation.
9. Keep â€œmilkingâ€ his lingam as he climaxes, which makes him feel as if the ejaculate is being pulled from his body…thrilling for both of you.
10. After his orgasm, keep flexing and relaxing your PC muscles and build up to your own climax. Add additional clitoral stimulation with your fingers as needed and keep flexing until you are satisfied.
To find an experienced Tantrika to work with in the Ottawa area, visit
For experienced Tantra practitioners, combining pompoir in the Yab-Yum position with eye gazing may propel you and your partner to new heights of sexual ecstasy and spiritual connection. Enjoy.
Pleasuring your man by caressing, fondling, gripping, massaging, and milking his lingam without using your hands is good enough reason for ANY loving woman to learn pompoir. Plus, developing your PC muscles to do this gripping increases your orgasm frequency, intensity, and variety. For most women, orgasm is centered in the clitoris, but with proper exercise not only does your clitoral orgasm improve, you develop the ability to experience vaginal, multiple, and ejaculating orgasms.
Personal Tantra instruction too expensive for you? Al Link and Pala Copeland’sSexual Mastery Course and Kerry and Diane Riley’s Ultimate Home Tantra Course are both excellent self-teaching courses. These courses are great for those who want to explore Tantra in the privacy of their own home.
Then, you turn over so I can work on your back. I work out all knots, tension and stress through gentle, deep tissue massage..NEVER too hard, just deep enough. We also work the muscles in the legs and buttocks until your ENTIRE body is completely relaxed and loose. This is the end of Phase I: to release the physical stress and tension and clear out any blockages in your energy.
Performance anxiety results in avoidance of sexual encounters, lowered self-esteem, relationship discord and sexual dysfunction. Typically, an awareness of performance anxiety produces preoccupation with the anxiety itself, so the person becomes less fully involved in any sexual interaction, bringing on the feared failure. Commonly, the anxious partner worries about being sexually responsive and spontaneous; he or she focuses on each detail of the lovemaking. One partner may focus on how rapidly the other partner is breathing, whether a shift in position is required, or how much lubrication or erection is present. The sexual interaction is dissected so deliberately that enjoyment is impossible. Such sexual encounters produce a high probability of being unfulfilling for one or both partners
Anticipation of the next sexual encounter arouses the same anxiety coupled with the memory of the previous failure and often leads to avoidance of sexual activity altogether, or at least to minimizing the amount of sexual interaction that occurs. This may result in one member of a couple mistakenly interpreting the situation as a form of rejection. The underlying avoidance, however, is usually not to reject one’s partner, but to save face in a way that helps the person feel more in control and less guilty about being inadequate.
Erectile dysfunction, is a disorder that can develop as an outgrowth of performance anxiety. Isolated episodes of not getting an erection or of losing an erection at an inopportune time are so common that they are almost a universal occurrence among men. Such isolated episodes do not mean that a man has a sexual dysfunction. They may occur as a result of a temporary physical stress (having a cold, being tired, having consumed a large meal or too much alcohol), or may relate to other problems like tension, lack of privacy, or nervousness about a new partner. If he does not take such incidents in stride and becomes upset by his failure to respond physically, he may set the stage for difficulties in future sexual experiences by worrying about his ability to perform.
Fears of sexual performance put a damper on sexual arousal and cause loss of erection. Eventually, the fears are so pervasive that they will become a self-fulfilling prophecy and he will experience an inability to get or keep an erection. Over the long run, performance fears leads to an avoidance of sex, loss of self-esteem.
Fears of sexual performance are not limited to men or to worries about physical responsiveness such as the speed with which vaginal lubrication or an erection is attained, or the length of time that it is maintained. Fears can also reflect anxiety about one’s sexual response on a broader level, such as how much passion, tenderness, intimacy and sensitivity a person feels toward his or her partner. In these cases, a person having no apparent problems in the physical side of sexual responsiveness may be distressed by an internal perception of inadequate or inappropriate sexual performance.
Tantric and Taoist philosophy offer a natural solution to overcoming performance anxiety. The goal of Tantric love is not achievement of any goal; i.e., reaching orgasm or maintaining erection.There is no pressure to “achieve”. Rather, within the Tantric experience, seeking, enjoying pleasure is key, easily achieved without maintaining a full erection during arousal. Each partner is capable of stimulating the other in a variety of ways, none of which needs to be focused on achieving orgasm.
This session contains every element of the “individual” tantric session, with sensual bath and tantric massage. To gain the best sense of this, here are somef possibilities:
While getting to know each other, it helps to calm jittery nerves with a glass of wine or two.
This presents a wonderful opportunity to chat about ALL desires anticipated during the session.
When everyone feels comfortable with one another. the session may begin.
The goddess will now invite you to enter the inner sanctum of her sacred space.
She will help each of you to disrobe in preparation of the bath ceremony.
Practical time considerations may limit this ceremony to one of you.
Usually, it’s more appropriate to reserve this privilege for the female partner.
Should “both” partners like to be bathed, plan for a somewhat longer session in advance.
This sensual bath is the perfect way to prepare for the tantric massage which follows.
Your tantrika begins by demonstrating techniques on both, switching focus, so that one observes.
The other partner will also have the opportunity to join in and practice.
In this rotation, first one partner, then the other has a chance to be either the subject or assistant.
The couple may practice these newly discovered techniques on one another, as often as desired.
All elements involved in this session are described in great detail below.
(multiple orgasm, tantra, yoni and lingam massage).